Today, movie stars are easily accessible to us: on TV, by way of streaming services and, of course, via the internet, usually even via that star’s very own Twitter and Instagram.
In fact, celebrities—of every conceivable stripe–are so omnipresent that it seems hard to imagine, or remember, a time when even our most famous film stars were as unattainable to us as the stars in the night sky.
But think of it: if not at the actual movie theater or, occasionally, appearing as themselves on radio broadcasts, how did fans learn about or “interact” with their favorite cinema personality?
This remoteness—and the hunger it generated—helped create the fan-magazine phenomenon that, for decades, put on the neighborhood newsstands an endless array of publications like “Photoplay” and “Modern Screen.”
And though these ‘zines were an important part of the film industry and fan experience, sometimes, to some true devotees, even they were not enough. Hence, in the early 1940s, Whitman Publishing Company of Racine, Wisconsin, struck upon a new and innovative way of satisfying the desires of film fans—or at least the young and female ones—to know and even spend more time with their favorite film star.
If you’re reading this, then you probably already know: Donald Trump is reportedly thinking about running for president a third time. As he would only be one of a handful of ex-presidents to run again after losing reelection, there aren’t a lot of historical parallels for this, should he announce. But it would kind of be like the bubonic plague announcing a comeback and expecting people to be happy about it. Or your oncologist telling you your stage IV cancer had returned. Or the worst president in modern history, the one who incited a violent coup because his ego is so fragile he couldn’t admit he’d lost, deciding to take another stab at terrorizing the nation for another four years. Something like that.
Does Trump actually have a shot at winning? That he has a greater than 0% chance of doing so should terrify everyone in this country, as well as the people living in the countries he’d probably drop a bomb on if given the chance—and considering the 74,223,369 who voted for him last time, including those who have publicly stated he’s a danger to society but would nevertheless still vote for him again, his odds are clearly a lot higher than that.
Though a New York Times/Siena College poll this week found nearly half of the party’s primary voters wanting someone else in 2024, Trump still leads the field—and thus remains the favorite to take the Republican nomination if he runs. And as Politico noted Tuesday, Trump “could launch his third campaign any day now.”
In short, if you’ve been paying any attention at all, this news has no doubt caused you to panic, driven you to drink, or ripped through your stomach like a batch of bad oysters shucked by Mr. Mar-a-Lago himself, who you know ignores the “employees must wash hands before returning to work” sign. To be clear, given the circumstances, these are appropriate responses.
But maybe you still need convincing. Or maybe you know a person who knows a person who still needs convincing. Whatever your situation, the following is a list of some of the many reasons why Donald Trump should never be allowed inside the White House again. Not even as a guest! Not even as a school trip chaperone standing quietly and respectfully in the back. It doesn’t include literally every reason, seeing as our fingers would break off before we could get through every single one. But for anyone wondering if it would really be that bad, it should be enough to convince them that yes, it would really be that fucking bad.