Tag Archives: family

How to Get Men to Share the Mental Load – The Atlantic

In many households, men think like helpers and women think like managers. A gender expert’s new book suggests ways for couples to escape that dynamic.

By Joe Pinsker, June 28, 2022

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Katie Martin / The Atlantic; Getty

One of the exasperating features of everyday gender inequality is that couples can be aware of imbalances in doing housework, state a dislike of them, and yet fall right into them anyway.

The discrepancy shows up most obviously in the amount of time men and women spend on tasks such as cleaning and caregiving, including when both work full-time.

Yet even many couples who pride themselves on a fair distribution of duties aren’t so balanced when it comes to carrying the harder-to-quantify “mental load,” the taxing work of managing a household and anticipating its many needs.

(Same-sex couples tend to be more egalitarian, but can end up in lopsided arrangements as well.)

Today, men in different-sex relationships contribute more than they did in the 1960s and ’70s (a low bar), but often take on a “helper” role under the “manager” role of their female partner, who’s saddled with noticing what must be done.

The job of noticing is a recurring theme of Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home, a new book by Kate Mangino, a gender expert who works with international nonprofits. Mangino is aware of how American society could be made more equitable among genders—say, with paid parental leave and universally affordable child care. But she recognizes that individual couples have households to oversee now, and offers tactics for couples to bust out of that irksome helper/manager dynamic.

Source: How to Get Men to Share the Mental Load – The Atlantic

Why Did Bill and Melinda Gates Divorce? What Therapists Say | Time

By Belinda Luscombe May 4, 2021 7:03 PM EDT Luscombe is an editor-at-large at TIME and the author of Marriageology: The Art and Science of Staying Together.

Bill Gates and Melinda Gates after being awarded Commanders of the Legion of Honor at the Élysée Palace in Paris on April 21, 2017.
Kamil Zihnioglu—Pool/Reuters

To the wider world, Bill and Melinda Gates have always appeared to be the Mazda of married couples: not very glamorous, but very reliable and unlikely to break down. So when they announced on May 3 that after 27 years they “no longer believe [they] can grow together” and were divorcing, almost everybody was stunned.

The Internet bristled with speculation about what it meant for philanthropy, global health, the future of tech and the stock market. There were less serious responses too— fake Tinder profiles, jokey memes about Microsoft fails, and spoofs of QAnon speculation about whether Melinda was anti-vax. Alongside those, however, there was a quieter, sadder discussion. What happened? If the Gateses, with all that money, a joint project that had made a real impact, three kids and 27 years under their belt, couldn’t make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Shocking as the Gateses’ announcement is, it is not extraordinary. In recent years, the rate of divorce has been going down among all types of married couples, with a notable exception: those older than 50. While most people who are going to divorce do so within the first few years of their marriages, this generation of 50+ folks (Melinda is 57, Bill 65) are more likely to divorce than the 50+ folks who came before them, a trend that is notable enough to have earned its own name: gray divorce.

Source: Why Did Bill and Melinda Gates Divorce? What Therapists Say | Time

Biden’s White House is all about family

Joe Biden’s big Irish American family has been a prominent part of the White House scene during his first 100 days in office.

By Associated Press – May 2, 2021 1:00 PM

President Joe Biden and first lady Jill Biden, with their grandchildren Natalie Biden and Hunter Biden, walk on the South Lawn of the White House, Sunday, March 14, 2021. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

President Joe Biden’s grandkids say anyone who wants to take a crack at their “Pop” has to go through them first.

When Biden calls to check in, he doesn’t stop with one grandchild but ends up dialing all of them for updates. Even son Hunter Biden gets a nightly call from Biden.

Biden’s big Irish American family has been a prominent part of the White House scene during his first 100 days in office, with his wife, children, and grandchildren providing the grounding that people close to the president say has served Biden during nearly a half-century of public service.

“Anyone who wants to get to @JoeBiden will have to get past us first,” says the caption on a photo granddaughter Naomi Biden tweeted of herself, her sisters, and her cousins. She added emojis of a flexed bicep, a high-voltage sign, a fist, and a winking face with a stuck-out tongue.

Source: Biden’s White House is all about family

The Real Reason Young Adults Seem Slow to ‘Grow Up’ – The Atlantic

It’s not a new developmental stage; it’s the economy.

Nancy E. Hill and Alexis Redding, April 28, 2021

Adam Maida / The Atlantic / Getty

Every generation, it seems, bemoans the irresponsibility and self-indulgence of the one that follows.

Even Socrates described the folly of youth in ancient Greece, lamenting: “Youth now love luxury. They have bad manners and contempt for authority.” However, in recent years, commentators have argued that something is distinctly stunted about the development of today’s young adults.

Many have pointed to Millennials and Gen Zers as being uniquely resistant to “growing up.” Some theorists have even suggested that a new developmental stage is needed to account for the fact that youth today are taking longer to reach adulthood and are more reliant on their parents than generations past.

Yet nothing about delaying adulthood and extending adolescence is uniquely modern. Taking more time to come of age is not due to lack of stamina or motivation on the part of today’s youth, as the common narrative proclaims. Delayed adulthood is an expected response to the economic conditions shaping the period when young adults enter the workforce.

Source: The Real Reason Young Adults Seem Slow to ‘Grow Up’ – The Atlantic

Family Camping Guide: Everything To Know About Camping with Kids | Condé Nast Traveler

How to Plan a Seamless Family Camping Trip

By Lauren Matison, April 15, 2021

Step-by-step guidance on finding a campsite during high season, easy and delicious meal ideas, and games that’ll turn your kids into lifelong campers.


One of life’s guaranteed adventures, besides having kids, is a family camping trip. Because when we’re talking about that trusted recipe for fun—dirt, fire, stars, and wild places—it’s nearly impossible for kids not to have a good time. But if you’re intimidated by the idea of planning your first family camping adventure, we have good news: there’s no one right way to do it. 

“Don’t confine yourself to this picture of what you think camping is from what you’ve seen in films, TV, or magazines,” said Jahmicah Dawes, father of two young boys, and the owner of Slim Pickins Outfitters, the nation’s first Black-owned outdoor gear shop, in Stephenville, Texas.

“We went about camping a different way, subscribing to more of the glamping side first. We would stay in cabins, go on group trips with other families. Our most successful “campout” with small kids was in our backyard. I’m thoroughly okay with that. I want to cultivate a love of the outdoors for our family first.”  

Source: Family Camping Guide: Everything To Know About Camping with Kids | Condé Nast Traveler