5 Books That Celebrate Nonromantic Love

February is traditionally a month to celebrate romantic love. But while romance novels are easy to find on the shelves of any library near you, we think it’s time to highlight the passion, tenderness and devotion expressed in other types of relationships. These five books focus on love in a variety of settings, from friendship to pets and parent/child to baklava. 

Memoirist Lilly Dancyger illuminates the female friendships that have shaped and raised her in “First Love: Essays on Friendship.“ Indelibly impacted by the grief of losing her first best friend, her cousin Sabina, to a tragic and senseless murder at age 20, Dancyger uses that tragedy as a springboard for discussing the ways in which her friends have been her truest and earliest loves.

Grappling for years with how to write about Sabina, Dancyger found that what emerged was not the story of her cousin’s murder and death, but a story of their love, and a blueprint for how to love friends wholeheartedly. The friends who supported her through grief, the obsessive high school best friend whose bond subsumed her through their cocaine days, and the roommates, artists and confidantes who “mothered” each other are drawn in affectionate detail. 

Anyone with a pet can relate to the purity of the connection to a dependent yet nurturing being whose very presence increases your capacity to love. The characters in Syou Ishida’s Japanese cozy novel “We’ll Prescribe You a Cat” are at first resistant to that relationship, coming to the Kokoro Clinic for the Soul in search of psychiatric assistance. When they are instead prescribed a cat as medication, the patients are befuddled. But transformations follow.

A man’s disruptive cat helps him lose a job he hates and then gain a position in a much better company. A mom’s fractured family comes together through playing with their new pet. A geisha heals from the trauma of losing her cat, and receives a glimpse into her lost cat’s future. With hints of magical realism, Ishida’s book shows the power of changed perspective through the love of a furry friend. 

While parent-child relationships are frequently highlighted in literature, less explored are the deep bonds between extended family. The graphic novel “Stone Fruit” by Lee Lai tells the story of the wondrous play and joy between a young child, Nessie, her aunt Ray, and Ray’s girlfriend, Bron.

Nessie’s mother often disapproves of the wild abandon they exhibit on their outings, such as forging pathways through forests while moving like animals and making up songs, though it’s hard to know how much of her ire is transphobia directed at Bron.

As the couple navigates ups and downs in their relationship, and Ray figures out a better equilibrium with her sister, their boundless love for Nessie stays centered as the motivating force for all three women.  

Not everyone becomes a parent easily, and Lucy Knisley’s graphic novel memoir “Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos” chronicles her physical and emotional journeys through miscarriage and loss to motherhood.

Knisley depicts the intimacy of longing for a child with colorful and playful, yet sometimes dark, illustrations of her experiences with pregnancy and birth. She juxtaposes scientific facts with real-life experiences, creating a deep sense of the oddities and wonder of it all. Alongside her tender and raw experiences, Knisley also depicts the flawed and fascinating history of maternity care in America. 

In reconciling the gap between the dreams of parenthood and the messy reality, Knisley writes: “And while the expected is lovely … the unexpected can also be sublime.” 

Food conveys love, care and family in “The Language of Baklava” by Pacific Northwest writer Diana Abu-Jaber. Growing up in Syracuse, N.Y., and Jordan, Abu-Jaber has written a memoir that revels in the details of her boisterous and idiosyncratic family life with an Arab father and white American mother.

Her father Bud’s love of food and pride in his heritage is shared throughout with recipes that often include funny and inspirational dedications. Poetic Baklava is “For when you need to serenade someone” while Bud’s Royal Mjeddrah recipe recommends that you “Clean the lentils carefully, and everyone will love you.”

In one memorable scene, Abu-Jaber’s Aunt Aya gives her advice about figuring out whether you want children. “Ask yourself, Do I want a baby or do I want to make a cake? The answer will come to you like alarm bells ringing.”

– Jane S. and Misha S., Reader Services Librarians

The Seattle Public Library’s Reader Services team writes a monthly column for the Seattle Times that promotes reading and book trends from a librarian’s perspective. You can find these titles at the library by visiting spl.org and searching the catalog. 

This article was originally published in the Seattle Times, and is reprinted with permission from the Seattle Times.

  February is traditionally a month to celebrate romantic love. But while romance novels are easy to find on the shelves of any library near you, we think it’s time to highlight the passion, tenderness and devotion expressed in other types of relationships. These five books focus on love in a variety of settings, from friendship … Continue reading “5 Books That Celebrate Nonromantic Love” 

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